Therapist Lisa is very firm about me needing to have some "me" time. This is time, a huge chunk of time to my thinking, when I am OUT of the house and participating with OTHER PEOPLE in something that I find enjoyable, relaxing, or otherwise promotes my sense of aliveness and personhood. She wants me to shoot for three times a week, three hours at a time. Wow. Three hours. Three times a week. Three.
Okay. So, the first thing I did was sign up for a writing class. Cool, that got me out once a week for two hours, plus travel time. Downside: the last class is next week, and I have to find something to replace that. Plus, I haven't found the other two things I'm supposed to like doing. Okay.
Putting on my thinking cap, I realize that since I've been back in Seattle, I've wanted to do something like kayaking. This idea led to much exploration and research on the internet. One problem with a kayak is that they are expensive and large - hard to transport. So, maybe a club? Maybe. We will revisit this another time.
Photography is another love - most of the pics on this blog are mine. So, I got on the Seattle Meetup and found several photography groups. Nothing meeting soon, but I signed up for one group.
The really odd and uncomfortable thing is that the idea of going out cold-turkey and meeting strangers, even strangers who have common interests, is really intimidating. This reaction is probably one of the reasons I have Therapist Lisa in the first place. So. . . what's the solution?
I don't know. Baby steps?
So, my friend, Manager Kimi, and I were talking the other night about our exercise deficit. She reminisced about how she used to walk with friends down at Seward Park, a beautiful tree-filled place on Lake Washington. It happens to be near her house, and the loop is almost 2.5 miles - a nice walk for two women who haven't worked out in a while. We agreed that it would be a great idea to walk together. Then, neither one of us said anything. You know how you don't push the idea, cleverly letting it slip away? That way, you've virtuously discussed the idea, but haven't actually committed to it?
Yeah, then I thought about Therapist Lisa. Three hours, three times a week. Mmk, next thing I know, I'm saying, "How about tomorrow morning? 9:30?" She's agreeing and now I'm stuck. All kinds of reasons I shouldn't, couldn't go - blame it on the kids, oversleep, I'm sure Manager Kimi would be happy to take a pass on it, too. . .
But I didn't. And she didn't. So we did it, and it was nice. Beautiful, even. It was sunny, warm (but not hot), semi-crowded, but not packed, Manager Kimi is great company. . . maybe this getting out with people isn't so bad after all.
We are walking again Tuesday morning before my next appointment with Therapist Lisa. I know I will be glad when we do it, but I feel my mind already trying to wiggle out of it. Yet I know I want to do this! UGH, ugh, ugh!
Will my mind ever shut up and learn its lessons?
Baby steps, right?