What a Tremendous Mother's Day

Hey, I have to tell you all what a super-duper Mother's Day weekend I had. It started Friday night in downtown Seattle celebrating my friend's twenty year anniversary. Tom and Stephanie came to Christ later in life, and "found" each other. They have a yours, mine, and ours family, with grandchildren now.

Tom and Steph were one of the first couples I met as a new believer. They welcomed me and my wacko family with open arms, and haven't been able to get rid of us, yet!

The party was at the New Orleans in Pioneer Square in downtown Seattle. Terrific music and authentic food. We sat up in the balcony where we had an excellent view of the couples dancing on the cozy floor to some awesome blues. That was a great start to three days of celebrating... me!

Well, I'm not the only one who got to celebrate, I guess.

Saturday, we had our annual Women's Brunch at church. Our Pastor pretty much single-handedly planned the meal, shopped, prepped, cooked, and served fifty-six women. He did have three of our older teens and two of the men to help serve and clean up. But really, Pastor David did almost all of it.

And it was delicious! I invited a friend from the foster care system, and took my three daughters with me. Everyone felt pampered and ministered to. Following that, five of us went out and cruised the garage sales. I found a great rice-cooker for $4. Super!

Sunday was, of course, the Day. My eighteen year old bought, cooked, and served me breakfast in bed. I've never had breakfast in bed (well, on a few hospital trips...but that certainly doesn't count!). She took care of getting all the kids ready for church, and did it all with a smile. Wow.

Then, coffee with the Pastor's wife, church, and finally a trip downtown with my oldest son, Kris. He took me to a sweet indoor mall, Pacific Place for dinner at Todai (a Japanese buffet). Then he took me to a movie (Iron Man, and I do recommend it!), and THEN we went to the Cheesecake factory and Starbucks for (duh) cheesecake to go, and coffee. Make mine a triple short breve latte, please!

Wow. I tell you, that is enough celebrating to keep me happy for at least a few years. Or until October. That's when my birthday is!

Feeling a Little More Authentic

Well, I have my initial outlining for Finding Joy done. That's a HUGE Woo Hoo. I'm realizing that while I really hate outlining, my brain just can't progress neatly along a logical path without some sort of bare bones plan. For me, what seems to be working is using Google Notebook (which I LOVE), to keep all my scattered thoughts in one easily accessible, internet-stashed, place. Then, I'm doing a simple flow chart of scenes.

I have my first chapter and prologue done, and the initial feedback is encouraging. Equally important, I like it!

Anyway...back to it.

TTFN and have a terrific weekend!

Random Thoughts

I finished my first chapter late Sunday night. The prologue has a dark feel to it, but I want to be real. Jesus was as real as they come. His life and death (and resurrection!) were all depicted in the Bible honestly, and if you want something racy to read, check out Song of Solomon. I think we as Christians have a hard time discussing the world around us. We are in it, not of it. To not talk about it openly is denial, and how do you help people, or be transparent before them if you try to tidy everything up.

I'm not saying let's be intentionally titlating, but I don't think we should hold back the story line for the sake of looking pure. Now, I write mysteries. And the characters in them probably want to swear. That's problematic, because I seriously doubt any CBA agent or publisher will accept bad language. So, I have to craft my story to show the character's capablilities without actually having them swear. Or, I can let some language come in, and see if I can market it to the ABA as a "missionary" kind of book.

I don't know about how to address this. I personally feel like I need to tell the story as it really is. The underlying theme of all my work is Redemption. Redemption by it's very nature requires that the person being redeemed needs it. Right? My stories are set in the city. Cities don't tend to have sweet, innocent individuals that just need Jesus. There are people who appear way beyond redemption - Rahab comes to mind, or the woman at the well, Peter, Saul, and more - they aren't pretty people, and as a writer, do I try to clean them up so as not to offend?

Sticky thoughts for a Tuesday as I get ready to tackle chapter two.

By the way, I find that I really like revising my work. I could re-write chapter one forever. So, I will leave it as is, and move on. Immediately.

HEY - a big shout out to Shelly Beach, author of Hallie's Heart! I met her at my retreat a few weeks back in Stanwood, Washington, and I see that her book is nominated for a Christy!!

Way to go Shelly!

Just a Quickie!

A few random thoughts for today:

I was arguing with myself at the kid's bus stop this afternoon. It went something like this:

"I really want to buy that flash. I NEED it."
"You NEED to budget for it and have some self discipline."
"Well, what if I die tomorrow without that flash?" (seriously, I said that to myself)
"Then you won't need a flash, will you?"

I also had an ongoing internal discussion all day about my attitude (which fluctuated between lousy and horrendous). That discussion wasn't entirely G rated, so I will spare you, but I got pretty mad at myself and apologized to God (and to my son, in writing), and thankfully, HIS GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR ME, and His sacrifice for my sins paid it all! So, I can say with confidence, that I am forgiven for my bad behavior and will move on- all Fresh and Shiney.

Last thought - I've been a Christian for a lot of years, nineteen, I think. Somewhere along the way my walk began to get complicated. You might even say I've been pretty legalistic with myself and (UGH) others (especially my family). Big old news flash: "Faith like a child, Kat. Faith like a child." And huge heaping buckets full of grace. That's all we need, faith and grace.

Amen and amen.

Scripture for the day:

May the LORD answer you when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May He send you help from the sanctuary
and grant you support from Zion.
May He remember all your sacrifices
and accept your burnt offerings. Selah
May He give you the desire of your heart
and make all your plans succeed.
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the LORD grant all your requests.
Now I know that the LORD saves His Annointed;
He answers him from His holy heaven
with the saving power of His right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the Name of the LORD our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall,
but we rise up and stand firm.
O LORD save the king!
Answer us when we call!

Psalm 20 (thanks, Beverly!)

I Have a Confession...

Yeah, well I have to say something here. It's a deep dark secret right up there with the fact that I read People Magazine.

I watch-no I really like-America's Next Top Model.

I am ashamed to admit it. The show is so shallow and monumentally unimportant in the grand scheme of life. Really. How darned vital is this stuff?

Not especially.

But, boy they sure make it feel that way. It's life or death baby. They've waited their entire eighteen or twenty years for this, and they are ready to rip the heart out of anyone in their way.

I have to say, though. I love the photo shoots, I love the sets, and somewhere deep in my heart is a little girl's desire to be a Beauty - to be the center of attention, in the spotlight - like Stasi and John Eldridge talk about in the book, Captivating.

It's a little concerning how they treat Tyra like she's a bigger deal than... oh, maybe the President or the Pope ('course I'm not sure that they would recognize those two if they saw them), and Tyra takes herself SO seriously. That wears thin.

But all in all, it's an escape. ANTM is a break from the seriousness that a day can have.

Even if I get annoyed from time to time over the insane way these people seem to believe they are doing such vital, necessary work. Like Mother Theresa or something.

Wonder if they know who she is?

Tulips in the Mud (Originally posted 4/08)

One of my favorite things to do in Washington is the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. It's held each year in April, and usually happens around the same time as our church retreat.

There are miles of blooming tulips planted in groups by color. Each section is about 1/4 mile wide and maybe 1/2 mile long. All of these fields are down in the Skagit Valley, which lies between the Cascade Mountains on the east - still snow capped - and the Puget Sound on the west. There are red barns here and there, and old farm houses that have been restored (or kept in really great shape). And the Skagit River wanders through the whole valley.

I don't have words to do it justice.

The Festival was scheduled to start April 1st and run through the 30th. Our retreat was scheduled for the weekend of the 25th, and it was pretty likely that the tulips would be past their prime by then.

But God arranged the weather this year to so that it was unseasonably cold. In fact, we had snow a week ago. Hey, it doesn't snow up here near sea level very often! Especially in April. So I held out hope that the tulips might be late in blooming.

We headed up to retreat, and honestly, no one but me cared about the tulips. This is my thing. I talk it up big time, but people kind of glaze over when I bring it up. I think they take that beauty for granted. I lived in the high desert for twelve years. Tulips don't grow out there. Tumbleweed does - I kid you not.

Okay, so up to Stanwood we go, the retreat is awesome, God's Spirit is speaking, lives are changing, I am praising Him... and wondering how the tulips are.

My friend didn't really want to go. But I can be pretty persuasive. She relented and on our way home Sunday we drove the 15 extra miles to see them.

It was so worth it.

Even Steph agreed once we got there. We didn't stay long, just drove up to one spot and pulled over to take some pictures and bask in God's glory.

As we headed back to the car parked in the mud by the side of the road, I saw something I would call a sacred delight. Two red tulips far far from their brothers and sisters were poking through the mud. Seriously, these two were about twenty feet from the fields, and the mud they were in was where thousands of cars had parked over the past four weeks of the festival.

It made me think of Hind's Feet on High Places. There's a flower in there that Much Afraid meets that is growing up through the rocks where nothing else is growing, and its name is Acceptance With Joy. I want to be that flower, that little red tulip growing in the mud of life. Blooming where I'm planted, even if it's far from the field where everyone else is, and isn't a very pretty place.

The ugliness of the mud makes the beauty of the tulip stand out that much more.

Warm Beach Camp

We had our annual Women's Retreat this past weekend. It is usually held at Warm Beach Camp in Stanwood, Washington. Since I moved to Colorado Springs for the twelve years between 1994 and 2006, my attendance has been spotty! God did enable me to fly home for two of them. I think it was 1995 and 2000... maybe.

Being back at Warm Beach stirred up my emotional and spiritual pot. Memories of my time there as a baby Christian, the amazing ways God spoke to me, and some not-so-amazing memories of conflicts within our group of women, all threatened to draw me away from what was happening there now, in 2008.

I'm not great at processing (I hate that word) my life experiences. I tend to careen forward, racing down the path, yelling to God over my shoulder to "catch up!" This may be why He has to, from time to time, sit me down for a "come to Jesus" meeting. The kind where He gently plants your fanny on a tall stool, puts both His huge hands on either side, leans down and looks you in the eye.

Does this ever happen to anyone else, or is it just me?

This weekend was a little bit of that. He gave me some gentle reminders from my years of walking with Him. Reminders that every answer I will EVER need in life is found in His word; that He loves me and is infinitely patient with me; and maybe most importantly, that this isn't all there is for me. He has a plan - a wonderful and precious and perfect plan - for the future of all who love Him,who are His... (Jeremiah 29:11)

I think one reason He's called me to write so that I will have to process through the stuff of life. I mean, in order to write intelligently about anything, in any format, you need to reflect on what you are trying to say so that other people will, hopefully, understand. Basically, I have to slow down long enough to hear what He's said to me, long enough to think about how that might impact another, and THEN to actually try to put it into words that matter and make sense.

That sounds kind of scary. No wonder I try to race on ahead!

It's a good thing I took notes.

Writing Update...

Well, I joined ACFW (that's the American Christian Fiction Writers Association); this led to joining the local Puget Sound Chapter; this led to joining an online critique group!  Yay for all of this!

It's great because not only am I now networking with other writers (published and un), which is terrific and very educational, but I am also now accountable to put forth a chapter a week in order to participate in the critique group.  You know, you have to HAVE something to critique to participate in critiquing... funny how that works out.

So, I'm working like a fiend on my book-plotting away and creating story folk right and left, researching my settings and firming up suspects so that I can get that first chapter to my group.

I'm very close.  I'm not sure if all the children will survive the writing of my first complete mystery, but what is it they say?  "Acceptable losses"?  

Just kidding, of course.  I'd never do anything to jeopardize the well-being of my loving, lovely children.  Humm.  I sense a new plot hatching.

Kelsey Goes to College!

Woo Hoo!! My oldest daughter, Kelsey (she of the pictures below), received notice today that she is going to Northwest University here in Washington!

This is great on several fronts, not the least of which is that the school is only twenty minutes away (traffic allowing).

Her plan is to study Environmental Science. The super cool thing is that Northwest University is an Assemblies of God school, so she will be studying Environmental Science from a Biblical perspective. Some of the classes discuss the Theory of Evolution versus Creationism. Cool.

I can't wait to learn from her. Oh, and she's pretty happy, too!

Peace...

Not much to talk about!  It's been a pretty quiet, calm few days.  That's a welcome change.  The kids are in school, I'm working part time, holding down the fort at home, and working on the book.

I've decided I'm not really a lover of research - but that's okay.  It's a necessary part of the writing process, and so that makes it good.  I do appreciate all the writers out there in the cyber world who are so willing to share their processes.  There are so many awesome articles and blog posts that discuss various methods for outlining, plotting, character development, etc.  In fact, the temptation for me is to keep reading about how everyone else writes their books, and not work on mine!

There are several suggestions that I've taken to heart and am using.  I appreciate it so much.  Hopefully, one day I'll be in a position to "carry it forward.

Spring Break

Well, my children are back in school today!  This must count as Spring Break for me, right?  I love my kiddos, but having five of them home, all at the same time... it does get a little tense.

It seems like they kind of expect me to be the entertainment committee.  As far as I know, that's not in my job description.  I provide the materials, they provide the imagination, right?

Oh well.  Today they went back - homework and early to bed tonight!

Over the break, I shot my daughter's Senior pictures.  She managed to do two locations, and two changes of clothes, then she was done.  So, I still have a few more I'd like to do.  We'll see if I can recapture her attention before school gets out.   Here are a few of my favorites:

That's my "baby" girl.  Your momma isn't kidding when she says it goes by fast.  I distinctly remember wrapping her up in blankies and changing her diapers.  Somewhere in between that and these pics, she was a scrawny gymnast (with fabulous shoulders!), and then a taller-than-most cheerleader (with a J-Lo bootie).

I'm not so good with this empty nest thing.  These not-quite-kids, and not-quite-adults have shared the last eighteen to twenty one years with me.  They have good brains and terrific values.  They will be fine.   I'm not so sure about me!   

Spring break next year will definitely be different.  Both will be in college; where is still undecided.  My prayer, of course, is that it will be nearby.  But God's gotten us all this far and I know without a shadow of doubt that He will see us all safely Home.  Maybe for vacations? 

Thoughts on Trees...

I LOVE trees.  I never realized how much until I moved to Colorado for twelve years, where trees (believe it or not) are hard to come by.  Now, granted, up in the High Country, where the ski areas are, and where the Hot Springs flow, there are a lot of evergreens and aspen.  But down on the Front Range - Colorado Springs - where we were, trees aren't very plentiful, and they take a very long time to grow.

Colorado Springs is actually high desert.  The place where we lived for most of the twelve years was at 7,300 feet but the actual topography is flat with a few dips.  And because of the high altitude, and the short growing season (there are maybe three months with no snow - maybe), trees are rare and coveted.  In fact, the property I owned had many Ponderosa Pines on it, and I sold off some of them one year to pay the property taxes.  They were about twelve feet tall, and I remember getting around $3,000 for six of them...  later we visited them along the highway by a new shopping center.  Ten years later when we moved, the trees were maybe a foot taller. Maybe.

Now, bear in mind that I grew up  on the West Coast, with most of my formative years in Seattle.  No such tree trouble in Seattle.  In fact, they grow so fast and so tall, that they get to be kind of a pain.  They interfere with views, their branches crack off and take out roofs and cars and stuff in bad storms, the leaves clog up sewers and creeks and rivers. If you take too many of them out when developing property, you can cause soil erosion, and big slidey messes when the rain falls.  Their roots get into people's sewer pipes and crack sidewalks.  They are something we have to control, not nurture and coax to grow.

It's a completely different point of view.

Isn't life like that?  Some years you're out in the desert, looking for the shade of a nice tree. Maybe it's a stable job, or a caring church family, or the comfort of good friends.  You pray over those trees you try to plant, you water them, stake them up, read everything you can find on how to make them grow.  Then, just when you think they might have taken root, a strong wind knocks them all down.

So, you move back to where the trees are.  God answers, "Yes" to all your prayers, and the job, church, and friends all come.  But these trees can be messy.  Remember those leaves and roots? Properly caring for these abundant, growing relationships can take as much effort as trying to make them grow did back in the desert.

But, down here where the trees grow free, you get to enjoy the beautiful flowering fruit trees in the Spring, shade in the Summer and the and the leaves are really pretty when they turn in the Fall. Yep, as messy as they can be, I think I'll take the trees any day.

Normal...?

Today I was listening to a Podcast by a man I really respect, John Eldredge.  His topic was from a new book he has out called Walking With God.  It's a great idea - a one-year slice from his personal journal.  Well, I'm sure he spruced it up a bit-no one's journal on its own would be that fascinating I suspect.

At any rate, the Podcast is short clips of him reading from the new book.  This broadcast was on Listening to God.  He opened with a story of how he, his wife, and two sons have a tradition of tromping out through the woods after Thanksgiving to cut down their Christmas tree.  What that had to do with Listening to God, I missed.  My mind got stuck out in those woods.

You see, my family was anything but "normal" and happy.  My parents divorced when I was eleven.  And this was WAY back when divorce was rare, so we looked like freaks.  To make matters worse, we lived in a small town and dad married his secretary.  I'm pretty sure the story ran in the shopping news.

Needless to say, mom and I didn't do a lot of hunting for Christmas trees.  Unless you count hunting for a lot somewhere.   She was so busy working three jobs, doing housework, and trying not to totally freak out, I'm amazed we even had a tree.

As a divorced single parent myself, we found our early trees at a local place called Chubby and Tubby, where every tree cost $5.98.  They were already cut for us.  We did get to tromp around, though.  Around the parking lot.  Of course, the trunks were about 1 1/2" round, so if we'd  had the opportunity to search them out in the wood, I could have chopped them down with a pocket knife.  Or just knock them over.

  

That mental picture: of a happy, "normal" family  skipping off through the Colorado woods - probably in the snow - just set me back a bit today.  I mean, wouldn't that be a super experience?   

But, really?  The temptation to resent the Eldredge's their awesome-sounding, picture-book traditions could seriously rob me from appreciating the quirky and fun traditions my family's instituted.  Off the top of my head, I can't name them.  But I'm sure we have them!     I'll try to research this and get back to you all.  =)

Financial Peace

Just got back from my FPU class at church.  That's Financial Peace University.  It's a class that Dave Ramsey designed I don't know how many years ago that helps out-of-control people like myself learn how to get our financial lives in order.  Thus, "Peace".

It's a thirteen week program, and we are in week ten.  So far, I've put together a real monthly budget (every penny -almost-spent at the beginning of the month, on paper, on purpose!), gotten all my debts gathered together and started paying them all off, closed my one credit card, and have saved a little over $1,000 as a baby emergency fund.

I feel really good about these steps.  Up to this point, I've mainly spent every cent I make monthly (and then some), rarely had a balanced checking account, and had NO money in savings.

So all of these activities would seem to be helping me get my financial act together.  Now, tonight's lesson.  The theme was funding our retirement.  We learned that, if we are thirty years old and put $500 per month into a mutual fund (this is after we've paid off all existing debt, incurred NO MORE debt, and are living below our means so we can save), we would have a little under six million dollars at age seventy.  A couple of thoughts here.  One, if I were saving like that, I'd probably feel okay about retiring before seventy.  Six million seems like more than enough to be comfy in my senior years.

Now, the glaring fact:  I am not thirty.  Actually, I am not forty.  I am just a hair under fifty.

So, when I crunch those numbers, I find out that in order to retire at my current monthly income in twenty years, I will need to invest $1,200 per month into a retirement fund.  Couple of problemos here.  Well, actually one.  I don't have the $1,200 "extra" to do this yet.  But,  hopefully using Dave's strategies to get the heck out of debt and live within/below my income, I can at least start doing something towards this as soon as I get my other baby steps done.

It will take a little work, and it won't be easy, but I don't see much of an alternative.  Besides, I have God on my side, and I'm pretty certain that He trumps even Dave for retirement planning.

No excuses, though.  Dave's way sure the heck is better than what I've been doing with my money the past umpteen years.  I'd really suggest checking it out.  His site is www.daveramsey.com.

And I'd suggest that all people get their financial stuff in order NOW.  'Cause this later stuff - quite frankly - stinks.  

Sunday Afternoon....

Lovely day. I love Sundays. The initial getting everyone out the door thing is a bit hairy, but once we are all there, and lined up in our two pews, worshiping together and listening to our Pastor bring the Word, I always feel a tender contentment creep up over my soul.

Kobi, Klaryssia, Kelsey and Kameron sit in front of my pew and Kami (Kris' s girlfriend), Kris, and I sit behind them. Over the years, I've learned that sitting this way makes the occasional behavior modification activity easier. In other words, if I need to yell at someone, it's easier to get to the offending party if I'm seated behind them. Plus, then I can whisper firmly rather than actually yell.

Now we're all home. Typically, I make tuna melt sandwiches with sharp cheddar cheese, which we have with chips and fruit, or, like today, hard boiled eggs.

It's so nice to have a day of rest - a Sabbath Day - to focus on God and on each other. We don't necessarily have a day filled with the singing of praise songs (although the kids have a song from children's church stuck in their heads), or a day set aside to memorize scriptures. What we do is slow down, remember Him, and remember - in a quiet and unfussy way - that we have each other.

At least, that's what I do. I'm not sure if the kids get it yet, but maybe when they are old, they'll remember these Sunday afternoons and smile.

Settling in For the Long Haul

Isn't this a cool yet creepy pic? I just love it!

I'm back at work on my book. No "scheduled" time to write yet, but I'm working on fitting in the time (boy, doesn't that sound like a cop-out). Actually, I do have a strange life and schedule. Between the kids, fostering on-call, working part time for my church, and doing all that pesky maintenance-stuff like grocery shopping, laundry, etc, I don't have a nicely organized calendar.

But that's no excuse for not writing. So, my current baby step goal for my writing life is to find/make/set time up for working on The Book.

It's in the roughing it out stage. I have my main characters and my setting, and I'm pretty sure I have my crime and plot line firm. But this book writing can be a slippery business. Just when you think you have all of the above figured out, some stray thought comes along like a banana peel, and you step right on it and fall on your hiney. If you're not careful, you've re-written the whole thing without having anything written to re-write!

SO, my initial baby step should probably be staying the course with my original idea. At least through the first rough draft - right? Be like Nike: JUST DO IT!

I'll let you know how it goes...

A Bit About Kobi...

My youngest child is named Kobi. He's seven, and if I may say, a Drama King.

What I mean by that is that when I have to correct some behavior (say, walking into the house and across my freshly cleaned hardwood floors with his muddy shoes on), he can almost always be counted on to overreact. For example, I might say, "Kobi, you need to take your shoes off."
He might respond, "You want me to move? You don't want me to be your son anymore? You love Kameron better?"

To which I might answer, "No, I just want you to take your shoes off."

And so it goes. Kobi joined our family when he was a year old. His story is, of course, tragic as most of the histories of foster children are. His mom gave birth to him a month early, in a Motel Six in Denver. Honest to goodness, his birth certificate reads Motel Six, Denver Colorado as his place of birth. Too bad they wouldn't change that along with the mother's name when I adopted him. 'Course, we could put a fun spin on it...I bet no one else at his elementary school can say they were born in a discount motel. Wonder if I can wrangle it into free stays for life.

Anyway, his mom had several other children (something like six or seven), and abandoned each of them. Kobi, she left at the hospital. Literally, she just dropped him off there and left. I am grateful though. At least she took him to the hospital and didn't just leave him at the motel or something.

A few days later, an aunt showed up, and when he was discharged after a month long stay, she got custody. For two months. Until a social worker saw him and immediately removed him. He was almost dead - malnourished and catatonic in the crib. Back in the hospital he went. He was diagnosed Failure to Thrive.

Praise God, he was discharged into a terrific foster home, and I found out about him through his worker. She was visiting another one of my kids, and had pictures of little Kobi. I fell INSTANTLY in love. When she said she couldn't find an adoptive home for him, I practically begged her to consider us. Really, it was just God that we got him. He should have gone to a two-parent, ethnically appropriate family, but thanks be to God, I got him. A crazy oldish white lady with an odd assortment of children.

He adds such a sweet flavor to our family. As an old friend used to say, he's the pickle in our soup. And he's brilliant. And someday, when he wins his first Oscar , I will be able to retire comfortably in the style to which I'd like to become accustomed.

Putting Off the Old...

I've been working on this Thin Within program (http://www.thinwithin.org/) since January. It's a faith-based approach to weight loss. At least that's how it's billed. Truly, it's an intense, grace-filled approach to addressing the silent starvation inside our souls that leads to our ravenous consumption of ANYTHING we can find to fill ourselves up - spiritually speaking of course.

Most adults are aware (at least we have niggling suspicions) that we use stuff - food, alcohol, sex, maybe drugs, definitely spending - to feel better about life. We spend countless hours trying to avoid facing the emptiness in our souls; the pain that gnaws away at our inner lives. Well, at least I have. Maybe I'm the only one?

But Thin Within takes on those needs and hungers head on. The workbook takes you on a journey inside, to see if you will let God, your Father and Creator, gently, gently expose and heal those scary wounds that lurk within. The wounds that have been there for years - decades maybe - that are festering and stinking up our insides. These old wounds may seem trivial and insignificant, but our psyche thinks they are horrific enough to need protection from; and most of us try very hard to protect ourselves - thus the eating and spending and drinking.

I just had to share that there is a way out of these destructive cycles that doesn't involve slapping more bandages on the stinky sores. A way to deal grace-fully with the real issues rather than try yet another self-disciplining program (that, let's face it, most of us fail miserably at). A way to grow closer to our Father who loves us passionately and completely. He will help you heal ALL the inner wounds, and give you some solid ground to stand on. Up where the air is clear and free.

And they say it's just a weight-loss program!

A Beautiful Day in Seattle

Wow, what a lovely day we had in Seattle today! It was coldish, maybe high 40's low 50's, but the sun was out most of the day. The mountains surrounding the city were out, the water was blue...paradise!

I've been exploring other writer's blogs. It's such a great way to get to know people, even though it's virtual. Along the way, somehow I stumbled across a place called Meetup.com. You can meet real people in your area who have similar interests.

One group is the Urban Walkers. They - go figure - meet monthly for walks around the city. Tres cool. What I'd really like to do is find a kayaking group. I have this crazy notion that it would be fun. There are Sea Kayakers and White Water Kayakers. One group is having a class in a pool this week to work on their rolling technique. Like, rolling upside down and presumably upside up again? Hummm. Haven't found a Shallow Water Fraidy-Cat Kayaking group yet. Or maybe a way to do this on dry land. I'll keep searching.

Originally, I was looking for a Christian Writers Group in the area. Never did find that, but I think I'm going to a dinner theater next week.

Good to Be Back

It's really great to be back on this blog. I didn't realize how much I missed writing just for writing's sake. Life can get so crammed full of "important" stuff that the enjoyable, reflective part can be squished out...sometimes for a long while.

Things like taking a walk or having a date night with one of the kids can become, if we're not careful, items on our PDAs - special things that we have to make time for and sadly, that we easily delete.

Whatever happened to spontaneous living? I remember when I was younger and life seemed to stretch out before me like the Yellow Brick Road. Every day was an adventure, and every white cloud etched against the bright blue sky screamed of the Lord's living presence in our world.

Now I feel lucky if I notice it's a sunny day. Worry over dirty socks piling up, who needs a doctor's appointment, or when I need to be sure to schedule a trip to the grocery store occupy my thoughts. Of course, families are noisy distractions, and often when I finally have a minute to pause and reflect, along comes the 2:20 bus with the first kiddo back from school. Quiet Time with God is even something I have to be sure to schedule...

Telephones aren't my special friends anymore, either. Remember when you loved getting phone calls? Now I hate to hear it ring. Sure, cell phones are good for emergencies. But, really, is it necessary for everyone to have access to each other 24/7? Where's the romance? The mystery? The anticipation? We expect to get hold of people right away, and almost demand instant answers.

I think that my best responses are the ones I think about for awhile. The first things out of my mouth are rarely the wisest.

Maybe that's why God has our hearing start to go as we age. We get so darned distracted and worn out by all the voices clamoring for our attention that He has to turn down the volume so we can hear what He's whispering inside our hearts. Well, and so we don't go nuts.

Personally, I don't mind the quiet a bit.

Woo-Hoo!

Hi Again!

Super long time of silence. The kids and I have been through many, many changes in the past year. We've moved AGAIN, this time into an even smaller house, 1800 square feet, but it's on a really quiet cul-de-sac with lots of neighbor kids and ultimately, it's been positive all around.

We started out three years ago in a house that was a little over 4000 square feet on 11 acres. So it's been a "challenge" (as we stressed out people like to call these earth-shattering events in our lives).

One of the benefits of continual downsizing is that you get to sort through every little thing you own to make sure you have room for the essentials. For instance, the children. I mean, really, shouldn't they have a place inside the house? Aren't they a valuable part of the family?

Thankfully, we have two storage areas, so the boxes have some personal space, too. I estimate we have about twenty that aren't unpacked yet, but its only been seven months since we moved. Hey, I no longer need to search for things in those boxes, so I could probably have a "mystery box" sale on Craigslist. I could sell a box for $5.00 on the condition that the purchaser buy it sight unseen - who knows what's in them! Doesn't that sound fun!!

Apparently, I'd never miss the stuff.

Another benefit of downsizing is that we are getting even closer as a family. For example, we have 1 1/2 baths for seven people. Enough said.

Ah...but God is good! I'll expand on that theme in the days to come. Good to be back!

Ten Things I Love About You...

Yesterday was my daughter, Kelsey's seventeenth birthday. I wanted to blog about it, but was a little stumped about what I wanted to express. I could have told the story of her birth (which was a fun ride on it's own!), or I could have talked about how special the last seventeen years have been. Maybe detailed her achievements (she's a gymnast, has been a cheerleader, does great in school, and so on). But today, while driving around running errands and letting my mind wander, the idea of what I really wanted to say just dropped into my head.

Here it is. I hope you enjoy it, but really, I hope she does.

Kelsey, my sweet baby, here is my gift to you on this, your seventeenth birthday.

The Top Ten Things I Love About You

1. I love you for saying, "Yes" so willingly when I ask for your help - no matter what it is
   
2. I love you for how you talk to Kameron
   
3. I love you for the way you overcome your fears and do scary things anyway (like the bars, and sleeping in your own room)
   
4. I love you for staying up late with me so I won't be lonely
5. I love you for rubbing my feet and giving me pedicures (and neck rubs!)
   
6. I love you for sharing your My Space page with me (brave soul!)
   
7. I love you for telling me what you worry about
8. I love you for your loyalty to me, your family, your friends, and God
   
9. I love the way you love Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives and Seahawks games
   
10. I love you because you love me, just as I am
    

You are a beautiful, gracious, funny almost-woman and I am truly a better person because you are in my life.

Happy Birthday, baby.

Tomorrow is not promised...

Things are slowly returning to routine. The extreme weather has settled down, reverting to it's predictable winter forecast of rain. Who would think we Seattleites would embrace 40 degrees and rainy?

The kids had their first full day of school yesterday and I got some work done. I have a full weekend of showings booked, which always makes me feel more financially secure. It occurs to me that I've been living by faith for a lot of years now. I haven't had a "real" job since 1994 when Kris, Kelsey, and I left Seattle for Colorado Springs to attend Bible College. I was thirty three, Kris was six, and Kelsey was three.

My friend pointed out yesterday that really, everyone is financially insecure...none of us knows what tomorrow will bring. As the Bible says, we aren't promised tomorrow. I don't know if that encourages me or scares me more!

Depending on my mood, I guess I could go either way. But if I look back over the years of my walk with God, I clearly see His faithfulness to me, and to my children. That doesn't mean I have bunches of bucks in vast accounts - I don't have any savings, actually. And that does sometimes keep me up at night.

But, I know He is faithful, and He is working on our future here and beyond. I trust Him. Even though I'm getting older, and don't see how all this will work out. My biggest failing (as I see it today) is in not fully appreciating each day I do have. I really want to live while I'm alive...

In that spirit, I'm going to try a few adventures this year. For one thing, I love to snowboard, and plan on getting back out to the mountains at least once more this winter. We got in some night boarding the day after Christmas. It was GREAT snow, and I did better than ever.

Can't wait to get out again.

The other thing I really want to try is kayaking or rowing one of those boats that have the moving seats...I'm bound and determined to. Stay tuned for more details!

But my major, major goal is to finish my book. One way or another, it's gonna happen - if I have anything to say about it!

Current Status: Trusting God
Listening to: My little rat-dog, Ricky growling at Kameron (Ricky has some trust issues of his own)

Acceptance...

My son, Kameron got fit for a wheelchair last week. It's taken me almost seven years to allow it, but I finally gave in.

Kam's been through a lot in his little life. Born three months premature because his mom couldn't resist smoking a little crack to ring in the Millennium, he started life with a inter-cranial hemorrhage, optic nerve damage, retenopathy, virtually no lungs, and heart issues. Despite this horrific start, Kam refused to die. Thankfully, his biological parents were stripped of their rights to him, and he was placed under the care of the court. Eventually, Kam was trached and put on a ventilator at Children's hospital in Denver.

He spent his first year there, with tons of wonderful medical care and volunteers who tried to nurture him. When I met him in November of 2000, he didn't have a lot of charm or "cuteness". His head was huge because of the brain bleed, he was largely unresponsive, and had a two huge tubes tied onto the trach in his neck attaching him to a ventilator that made a lot of noise and occasionally started alarming.

But he captivated me.

I spent the next two months fighting to get him. I had to get his room set up, set up supply companies for oxygen and diapers and meds, find and hire 24 hour nurses, physical, speech, and occupational therapists. I had to drive the 120 mile round-trip to Denver countless times being trained to trouble-shoot the ventilator - his respiratory therapist trained my then fifteen-year-old son and me how to tear it down and rebuild it, and we had to learn how to change the trachs in his neck, how to suction out secretions...and on and on. January 8th, 2001 he came home.

In short, loving Kameron was an investment from the start. But so worth it.

Three years after he came to us, the feeding tube, trach, and ventilator were all gone. He was learning to talk, laughed his head off, loved everyone he met, and remembered us all.

He came to life.

His growth was phenomenal. Then, just over a year ago, he had what looked like a bad case of the flu. No biggie, everyone in our huge family was sick. But, Kam didn't get better, and that night he had a grand mal seizure. Surprisingly, with all his issues he'd never had seizures.

I called 911. Weeks and weeks went by. Kam was in and out of intensive care. The long and short of it is that he had multiple, huge, arterio venous malformations (the things that caused that Senator to almost die recently). They were actually cutting off the normal flow of blood to his brain. The blood was pumping into his head, but couldn't get out so the pressure was building up and causing stroke-like symptoms. Our local hospital didn't know what to do. They were going to attempt brain surgery, but didn't expect that Kam would survive. There were too many huge blood vessels clumped together in his head and he would most likely bleed to death trying to remove them.

Again, God had other plans for our little survivor. A doctor in Denver was "found" who specializes in treating these rare malformations using angiography (like for heart patients, but going up to the brain with the catheter) and embolization. Essentially, the doctor would insert a catheter in Kam's groin and go up into his brain, using dye and "materials" to try to shut off all the offending, unnecessary arteries and attempting to restore more normal blood flow.

Sixteen of these procedures later, Kam is finally doing better. He's been close to death many times, and I've tried to let him go, but for now, he's better.

Anyway, back to the chair. So, for more than a year he's hardly been able to hold his head up, let alone pull to stand and try to walk. He is gaining ground again - with assistance, we can get him to stand. He uses a walker-like device at school...but I'm finally realizing that maybe my stubborn refusal to get him a wheelchair is not helping him, but keeping him from a measure of control and freedom.

It feels like letting go of a dream. Maybe, in letting this go I'm being a good mother. Maybe, letting him run around in his yellow and black (to match the school bus) Quickie (what a name for a wheelchair) and letting go of my dream for him to be able to walk out back and climb up on the tramp by himself...maybe that's the best we can do now.

But it's hard.

Things that make you go hummm...

The view from my desk today is beautiful. Icicles are hanging from the overhang that covers my deck, there is still some snow clinging to the bare trees, and the sun is out, making it all look shiny. Lovely. Good work, Father.

I've been reading a book called Intuitive Eating. The premise is to get out of the diet mentality and feed yourself, not just eat. Food is apparently not the enemy! Meal time is not supposed to be a war between it and us. Hummm. Interesting idea.

The two authors are nutritionists, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. They make a lot of sense. They say that years and years of habitual dieting can cause us to distrust ourselves where food is concerned. For some of us, that distrust can lead to a general feeling of "loser-ness" and a sense that we can't control anything about ourselves or our lives. Not a fun place to be. This can lead to rebellion, which can lead to more eating. Hummm. I can identify with that.

I like their approach. I think it makes sense. Food should be a pleasure. They talk about enjoying each bite and only eating what you REALLY want (not what you think you should have). Then, you won't eat as much because you will be satisfied emotionally and physically. When you eat what you "should" eat you tend to feel unsatisfied and deprived, and will probably pig out later on what you were really hungry for. Might as well eat what you wanted in the first place and save time (and calories).

How are you supposed to know what you really want to eat? I have so many "forbidden" foods on my mental list now, I don't know what I actually like anymore!

At this point in my life, I'm pretty tired of dieting. I feel like I can't win the war, so what the heck? Surrender to middle-aged fatness. It's okay, really. I don't mind looking like a frumpy, boring old lady. Really.

But Tribole and Resch say I can eat whatever foods I really want, be satisfied, and may lose weight naturally. I'm supposed to focus on the eating, not the avoidance thereof. Well, that sounds kind of fun. It flys in the face of what I tell myself about food every day "you can't eat that, you shouldn't have this...". Kind of scary to consider dietary freedom...

It's definitely more appealing than yet another freakin diet and all those stupid rules. I have way too many diet rules banging around in my head as it is after all these years. And like I said, I'm a rebel. If I'm going to eat, I might as well like it!

Meanwhile, I'll keep reading.

Snow Day!!!

Hi Gang!

Well...no surprise, it was a snow day. Witness my front yard:



Truly a beautiful day here. Sunny, crisp, and slippery. We spent a lot of time this afternoon watching cars slip and slide and get stuck on my street. I would have set out lawn chairs and broke out a thermos of hot chocolate, but I don't have any lawn chairs yet. I left them in Colorado - you know, that cold, snowy state?

It was challenging getting any work done. Funny that the little people you are working so hard to support have no clue why you can't spend every spare nanosecond paying attention to them. It can be really hard working at home...but it's worth it. I did end up getting some showings for Saturday. That makes me feel better. If I don't have a client looking at homes, I don't have a deal on the horizon. That's our paycheck.

I got some work done on my book yesterday. The main character keeps changing (I hate the word evolving, but really that's what she's doing). She's morphed from a petite young strawberry blond to a thirty-ish somewhat round woman. Her name has changed, her position in the birth order of her family, where she lives...you get the picture.

Maybe I need to just make some firm decisions and go forward...

Then again, maybe I should just hang out here on the fence a little longer...

Decisions, decisions.


On the TIVO: Grey's Anatomy (a new episode)
Status: Content with my lot.

It's Snowing in Seattle!

It's so funny. I move here from Colorado (record snow so far this winter), move home to mild, rainy Seattle, and here comes the crazy weather! This is the second snow here since November. Definitely not the norm.

So here I sit, laptop on lap, feet up...surrounded by my kids doing early-evening after dinner kinds of things while I think about what to blog tonight.

The Left Coast Crime Convention is coming to Seattle next month. I've never been, and since it's so convenient, of course I'm going. Four days of seminars on various aspects of mystery writing. Very cool. With all the distractions in life, it's easy to put my writing on the back burner every day. I'm excited to get around writers who are "doing it" (getting books written) and fellow wannabes. At this point, I'd like to really dig into the process.

Well, I dawdled long enough that the kids are heading off to bed. I love the quiet when they go down, and always think I'll be able to get a bunch done, but usually I'm too darned tired and fall asleep in my chair. Makes me feel tres old.

Makes my neck hurt, too.

I think I'm going to work on my book for a while. Hopefully when I nod off it won't be over the keyboard. Drool is probably not good for it.

This wasn't my original idea

I missed posting last night. Got caught up watching Rudy on the DVR. Such an inspirational true story. I'm a big beliver in overcoming and "doing it ANYWAY". Down with naysayers and those who say we should just accept our lot in life and be content...grab life with both hands and full speed ahead!

Maybe that's why I'm such a good fit for the kids God's brought me. Some of them looked pretty hopeless at first, second and third glance. Some of them probably still seem that way. Not every child I had in foster care over the past nine years wanted my help. They might have resented it. I think some of them might not have even realized I was trying to help, or thought they needed it.

By the time some children reach foster care, they're so tweaked by the horrendous lives they have, they don't know what "normal" families look like or act like. I had one little guy in my home who'd been in over twenty homes by the time I got him when he was ten. It makes your heart scream and bleed. I remember sitting in family court listening to charges being read against a man and what he was accused of doing to his son. The judge was a woman. As she read that long, horrible list I remember wondering how she could do her job. How do you stay impartial and fair when you see this truly unbelievable side of humans and how they treat their own young? I wanted to jump on the guy and pound him senseless. I wanted to scream. I did cry, and as previously mentioned, I don't do that often or well.

My heart has been permanently changed by the things I learned as a foster parent. I can't say right now if it's for better or worse. Just changed.

I love all the children it's been my privledge to care for over the years. Some of them are now legally mine. I'm not the best mom in the world. I worry and I work too much, and I still don't spend enough "quality" time with them. But, I'm pretty sure they all know I love them. And I know that having a permanent single parent, while not the ideal situation, it is a whole lot better than where they were before.

We have years ahead of us, trying to learn together how to mend and live with the damage done to them by the parents who brought them into the world. But, I'm betting that it will all be worth it. For all of us.

How God Meets Our Deepest Needs

Church today. It was good I guess. If your definition of "good" includes crying like a little sniveling girl.

I don't know about you, but when God whispers to me -- and you always know when it's Him -- I am almost always moved to tears. Maybe not the bawling, snot-running, red-faced kind of tears (not often, anyway), but moved enough to need a Kleenex and mess up my mascara.

My heart kind of gets all big and swollen and I cant' stop smiling and I find myself crying.

I'm not a big crier. I guess with all the freakin' responsibilities I have, it just isn't an option. You have to try to keep it all together, you know? I think maybe we feel sometimes like if we start "losing it", we won't be able to stop and the world will fall apart or something.

But when God puts His arm around me and starts talking sweet and low, I melt a little. He's telling me I'm not alone -- no, not ever. And He's telling me He loves me way more than I could ever imagine. And He's telling me that He is completely in my corner no matter how much I think I screw up, no matter how much I actually do screw up. He's my Man, my Daddy, my Friend and I'm His girl.

Cool.

That's how it was today. Just an ordinary Sunday service, but all the words I really really needed to hear. Isn't it funny that when you hear them, and they get all up inside you, it's almost a surprise, because you didn't even know you needed to hear them.

But God did.

As my baby boy, Rain would say. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

One of God's many names in the Bible is Jehovah Shammah. It's in Ezekiel 48:35 and it means God is Here. Always and forever. Always present, now.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

That's my prayer for all of us, hope. His hope. None like it!

Where in the Heck Did I Put My Magnifying Glass?

Did you ever try to clean the smudges from your glasses and realize that they're not dirty? That happened to me today.

Unfortunately, I think my eyes might be in need of a little pick-me-up prescription. That stinks, because the eye doctor told me last year that this prescription would last for many years to come...liar.

Things that make you feel old:

Having a six-year old son
Trying to read the itty-bitty street names on the Thomas Guide

There are more, I just can't remember what they are right now.

The six-year old son has been a huge challenge lately. I just don't seem to be as adept as I used to be. He gets defiant, and I yell. He puts on his ANGRY face and stares at me, arms crossed. I yell. My pithy lines include things like, "Do you want to go to your room?"and , "Do you want me to spank you?". What's he supposed to do, say yes?

I'm acting like the mothers I've talked about most of my life.

This morning, we had another little battle of the wills. I eventually prevailed, but the mental effort was enormous and made me tired.

Geez, I wondered, what's wrong with me? Revelation: I didn't actually participate a lot in my older children's defiant years. As previously posted, I worked a bunch. That means other women dealt with most of this messy, inappropriate, endlessly annoying behavior. Really, this is the first time I've had to put up with it on a daily basis. In retrospect, I don't think I paid them enough.

A little voice in my heart keeps whispering, "You asked for this, remember? You wanted to be a stay at home mom..." Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?

As for the Thomas Guide - that's the big map book we Realtors {insert trademark here} use as our bible (well, those of us who can't afford GPS). You might have seen them, hundreds of pages mysteriously coded and "logically" broken down into bite-sized chunks of the county. They take about a 1/4 mile section at a time and put it on two 8 1/2" x 11 pages all bound together in a nice, spiral book.

The streets look like bits of stray cat hair stuck on the page. The street names are even smaller.

I go out pretty much every weekend with clients, showing between three and five ( my one-day record is eight) homes to each client, each day. They are, of course, spread all over creation.

Now, remember I just moved back to the Seattle area after a twelve year absence. I wasn't all that familiar with King County then, I'm SURE not now.

So, in order to seamlessly guide my clients from one home to the next in an efficient, timely, and logical fashion, I spend hours pouring over the Thomas guide, planning our route.

My sweet clients think I'm super-organized and professional. They don't understand that my mind just isn't as lightning-fast and adaptable as it used to be. It takes a lot of time to look that effortless.

It also takes a magnifying glass.

Status: full of tummy and content
Today's reading: Elizabeth George's A Place of Hiding

Love is...

Things that make you curl up and purr like a little kitten:

getting your back scratched
getting your feet rubbed
getting your back scratched while getting your feet rubbed...

You get the picture.

I have a wonderful almost seventeen -year-old daughter who has tireless fingers. She can scratch and rub for endless hours. Not only can she, she does! What a blessing. I think she loves me.

Today was a good day. I got some good client contact in, set up a seminar for first time buyers (did I ever mention I'm a Realtor {insert trademark here}?), and showed two condos.

I also got some work in on the book, edited a few pictures from Christmas, took a long bath, AND had a nap!

What a lovely day.
Does it get any better than this?
I am woman, hear me purrrrrr...

On the TiVo: Firday Night Lights
Scripture for today, Romans 5:1-10

Things I Did Right Today

It was a good day...I spent some time working and some time reading.

The kids went back to school FINALLY. Not that I don't love my children, but long periods of exposure to each other during rainy weather (when the trampoline and back yard are under a few feet of water) tends to make us all a little tired of togetherness.

We had a good Christmas. My son, who turned twenty today, came to visit for the break. He makes everything happier. He's a typical guy who loves anything Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell. He's going to college on a partial athletic scholarship for basketball. I know that if he could avoid the educational part, and just play basketball, Halo, and snowboard, he'd be a really contented camper...oh well. Wouldn't we all enjoy life more if we could play all day?

His attitude is so refreshing. It lifts me out of the intense "reality" of daily life and helps me relax. He flew back to Colorado on New Year's Day...I miss him.

He lucked out, the b-ball practice he flew back for was canceled (due to snow), so he and his friends spent one day on the streets of Denver sledding (!) and a second day snowboarding at Beaver Creek.

That I raised him - alone - for seventeen of his twenty years, and that he is a well-adjusted, happy young man who is in school, keeping his grades up, figuring out his future, and having fun makes me feel great.

That's what I did right today. I had a baby boy twenty years ago tonight. I wasn't (and still am not) a "perfect" mom. I yelled sometimes when I was scared, tired, and lonely. I never felt like I was there enough -working two and sometimes three jobs, going back to school at night when he was five. I tried to find creative ways to be a "real" mommy: I made cakes from scratch for his first birthday one for the daycare and one for us, signed him up for baseball, and actually coached his pee-wee soccer club for a season. Considering I've never played soccer, I thought that was above and beyond the call. Thankfully, he's turned out alright in spite of my efforts

More than alright. He's something I really did do right today.

How it's going...

Well, day one. Things I did right today:

I jogged in my living room 200 steps (actually, it was 400, I only counted the right foot).

I worked on my book. Just how many times I can change my main character's name remains to be seen.

I only ate two pieces of cake rather than the three I really wanted.

And, I wrote out the monthly expenses for my eighteen year old foster daughter to see (thus working on the financial control goal). This really is progress, because usually I try to avoid thinking about just how far short I am each month of actually having enough to pay the bills. Writing them down is half-way to a budget, isn't it?

Oh, and I posted here. That's the fun part of the day. That, and finding the name McCormickhuentelman in the Dex white pages for the metro Seattle area. True story. Check it out. Page 751.

Another New Year...

So here's my take on this New Year thing. After more than forty of them, I'm kind of maxed out on the resolution deal. Too many promises to myself that I've broken.

I don't want to "resolve" anything this year but to keep track of What I Did Right Today.

My current lifetime goals are:

1. To take care of myself
2. To take care of my children

The things that I want to do that fit into those two categories are:

- Writing daily
- Losing weight (moving my expanding butt in some fashion EVERY day)
- Keeping my house from falling apart (literally)
- Getting our finances under control
- Staying in relationship with God
- Working on keeping on top of all the appointments and stuff the kids need (since they have some special needs, that is important, but can really be consuming)
- Having FUN every day

I (like most of my fellow humans) tend to focus on all the undone piles of crap (literal and figurative) at the end of every day. This can lead to strong impulses to slam my head against the wall. You know, I've never noticed dogs looking frustrated or depressed by this kind of stuff...but that's a topic for another day.

Hopefully, keeping track of the Things I Did Right Today will train my eyes to focus more on the positive movement -however minuscule - toward my goals, and help me keep my cranium intact.

God bless us, every one in 2007!